If you haven’t dated in years, doing so after a divorce can be daunting, especially if the last time you dated was before dating apps were all the rage. Dating apps let you explore the dating pool without face-to-face interactions. However, your profile is your first intro, determining a swipe left or right. Here’s how to boost your dating profile.
“Vibe Check” Your Profile
Before you hit “publish” on that profile, take a step back. Review the information you’ve provided to determine the vibe it gives off. Is it warm, adventurous, or maybe more intellectual? Your profile’s “vibe” determines the crowd you attract. Ensure it reflects the energy you want to convey. It’s like setting the mood for a first date, and you want it to feel right, right?
Use “Story Starters,” Not Just Lists
The default format is to list your hobbies without a second thought, much like you would on a resumé. However, since hobbies can be vague, try weaving them into little stories. Turn “I love trying new restaurants” into “My latest culinary adventure was at a tiny Vietnamese place downtown—amazing pho!” This will give people a glimpse into your world and make things less generic, “same-old, same-old.”
Light and Shadow Variety
Photos often convey a certain “mood.” Don’t be afraid to play with lighting in your photos. Remember, bright, natural light is great for action shots and showing off your smile. Softer lighting can create a more intimate or mysterious aura. Show yourself in different settings and times of day to capture different facets of your personality.
Highlight Current Passions
Your online dating profile should be a snapshot of who you are now, not just who you were. What are you passionate about these days? Have you started integrating yoga into your daily routine, discovered a new band, etc.? Share these things; it gives someone a glimpse into who you are and makes it easier to find common interests (and things to talk about)!
Smile Naturally
A smile can convey so much—joy, kindness, warmth, and confidence. To make a good first impression, choose photos where you smile naturally. If you need to take an updated photo, practice in the mirror (if necessary). The point is to make your smile come naturally, not to force a pose. So relax and think happy thoughts when snapping selfies.
Showcase Your Lifestyle
Your dating profile is a short, visual life story—make it count. You don’t need to write it, but you can show photos of yourself engaged in your favorite activities. If you’re a foodie, include pictures of your culinary creations or favorite restaurants. If you’re into arts and crafts, share snaps of where you’re working on projects.
Avoid Negativity
Your online dating profile shouldn’t be a space to unload negativity or seek validation for things you don’t like about yourself. Keep your profile positive. Instead of listing what you don’t like or want, indicate what you do want and like. For example, “I’m looking for someone who makes me laugh” is more appealing than “I’m so tired of drama.”
Be Honest About Your Intentions
You must consider your intentions and be upfront about them. Decide what you want (friendship, casual interactions, or long-term relationships), and indicate it on your profile. No one wants to waste time chatting with people who have different intentions. Be upfront about it in your profile—it saves everyone time and helps you connect with people on the same page.
Use Humor Wisely
Humor is an amazing icebreaker and a great way to connect with people. It shows you’re witty and fun. But don’t force it. Too much humor can make you seem less serious or even frivolous. Just be yourself and let your personality naturally show. Try to balance showing your fun side and conveying your genuine self.
Express Your Values
What really matters to you? Kindness? Family? Honesty? Adventure? Indicate your values on your profile. But be careful; everyone has different values and is entitled to their opinions about them. Don’t target any specific individual or group by insulting their values when they differ from yours. Mentioning your values should be about finding like-minded matches.
Specify Personal Preferences
Your profile is a shortened, digitized proclamation of who you are. Don’t be afraid of specifics. Think about what you like and dislike—your hobbies, opinions, etc. Share topics likely to spark conversations, like whether you’re a workaholic, a bookworm, a movie buff, or a fitness fanatic. You will likely match with like-minded people when you share more than just the basics.
Limit Group Photos
Showing you’re social is great, but too many group photos make it hard to identify you, especially if you make one your profile picture. People want to see you, not play “Where’s Waldo?” with your profile. A few group photos are fine, but upload solo photos and ensure they’re at the top of your profile.
Be Open About Deal-Breakers
Everyone has them. Deal-breakers are absolute no-gos in friendships, relationships, or even casual interactions. Were there any recurring patterns or behaviors you won’t tolerate again? Maybe it’s smoking, a lack of ambition, or someone who dislikes travel. Putting these on your profile ensures that there are no grey areas, saves time, and weeds out incompatible matches.
Share a Learning Experience
What are you passionate about learning? Is there a unique skill that you’ve mastered? Are you taking a photography course, learning to play chess, or finally mastering French cooking? Sharing your learning experiences shows that you’re intellectually curious, and gives you a few conversation-starters. Acquiring knowledge and skill is also an attractive quality that can make you stand out.
Stay Authentic
The internet and online dating sites give you an environment where you can be anyone you want. However, the truth always comes out at some point. Don’t see online dating as a solution to escape yourself or your personality. Don’t try to be someone you’re not or pretend to like things you don’t. Be genuine, be honest, and embrace your unique qualities.
