America loves dogs, but some of its dog laws are downright baffling. Okay, we understand that rules need to be made for our furry buddies, but barking curfews and pup congregation laws seem a bit extreme. Some of these weird rules will have you howling. Whether you’re a dog owner or just a curious human, here are 15 laws that you’ll struggle to believe.
Don’t Let Your Dog Bark After 6 P.M. In Little Rock, Arkansas
Yes, really. If your pup has a lot to say, you better hope it’s before dinner. It’s a weird one, and how you’re supposed to set barking times is beyond us. But barking after 6 p.m. can land you in trouble. Keep them indoors and hope your dog doesn’t snore too loudly, just in case. Wow.
No Dogs In Hair Salons In Juneau, Alaska
In Juneau, it’s illegal to bring your dog into a hair salon, even if it’s just watching you get bangs. Dogs in hair salons don’t strike us as the norm, so to speak, but to ban them seems odd. Pampered pooches and perm chemicals don’t mix, it seems. Maybe they get jealous and want a pooch pamper. Who knows?
No Ugly Dogs Allowed In Galesburg, Illinois
This one’s subjective and a bit savage. Ugly? There’s no such thing, right? Galesburg once tried to ban ugly dogs from public places. Granted, the law’s no longer enforced, but wow, imagine the emotional damage from a town calling your pup fugly. You’d take them out deliberately, just to defy the rule.
A Dog Must Have A Permit To Congregate In Denver, Colorado
If more than three dogs are hanging out in Denver, it’s technically considered an unlicensed gathering. Come on, this is a laugh-out-loud moment. It gets better still, you’ll need a permit if you want to. Yes, even if it’s just a puppy playdate. No hanging out with pup friends here. It’s banned. What?
Dogs Must Have Permission To Cross State Lines In Kentucky
In Kentucky, it’s technically illegal to bring a dog across state lines without a permit. Fair enough, at least it has some semblance of logic. Make sure you check your paperwork before heading away on that weekend trip. Your innocent Labradoodle might be a fugitive and not even know it.
You Can’t Walk Your Dog Without Poop Bags In Chicago, Illinois
Forget the leash, you’d better bring poop bags. In Chicago, walking a dog without “immediate means of waste removal” (translation: a poo bag) can lead to a fine. Doggy doo equals dollars in this state. Seems fair enough, no one wants to see poo on the sidewalk. And we don’t want to step in it.
Dogs Are Not Allowed To Molest Cars In Fort Thomas, Kentucky
Yes, that’s the legal wording. Molest. Dogs are prohibited from “molesting” vehicles. If your pup gets a little too curious with a parked car, you could be held responsible. It’s a weird term that means “become a nuisance to,” but come on, how can a dog molest a car? It’s a strange one.
Don’t Tie Your Dog To A Fire Hydrant In Los Angeles
It might seem like the perfect spot when you nip into the grocery store or local Starbucks, but in L.A., it’s illegal to tether your dog to a fire hydrant. Looks cute in cartoons, sure, but in real life, it’s a ticket waiting to happen. Why? It might cause problems if the fire department needs to use it. It kind of makes sense.
You Need A License To Own A Dog In Fargo, North Dakota
Okay, this one’s not that weird, but the fine print is. If your dog isn’t licensed, the city has the right to seize it. So yes, even in the middle of nowhere, the doggy paperwork better be on point. And don’t be fooled into thinking it refers to dangerous dogs only; we’re talking small, fluffy, and wide-eyed. If it barks and has four legs, it needs one.
Dogs Can’t Bark At Police Horses In Madison, Wisconsin
If your dog barks at a police horse in Madison, you could be fined. So, good luck explaining that to your dog mid-walk when a majestic mounted officer trots past. They make it sound so easy to navigate. “Oh, don’t bark, Snowy, we’re passing the police horses.” Like, does the dog get it?
It’s Illegal To Give Your Dog Whiskey In Chicago
Oh, what a terrible shame. That’s the weekend plan out the window then. Besides being wildly unsafe (don’t!), it’s literally illegal to give your dog whiskey in Chicago. This one makes sense but still begs the question, what happened to make this law necessary? Did police find a bunch of inebriated dogs in an abandoned warehouse?
No Dogs In Public Elevators In New York City
Unless they’re service animals, dogs in NYC must be carried while in public elevators. So if you’ve got a Great Dane, better start strength training now. In truth, it isn’t necessarily something you require daily, unless you’re a high-profile celeb, of course. Somehow, we reckon Beyoncé might get a pass on this one.
It’s Illegal To Keep A Smelly Dog In San Francisco
In SF, if your dog reeks and you do nothing about it, you could get slapped with a fine. Forget fancy treats, invest in some doggy shampoo and a regular session at the pup grooming salon. The dog might not enjoy it, but it stops you from having to pay for the privilege of a stinky pup. Smell ya later, literally.
Dogs Can’t Ride In The Back Of Open Trucks In Oregon
Unless secured properly, it’s illegal to let your dog cruise in the open bed of a pickup. Makes sense for safety, but also kills that classic country-dog aesthetic. If you must carry your pooch, get them strapped in with the necessary seatbelt. Don’t take the risk of an escaping pup and a big fine.
You Can’t Let Your Dog Chase Squirrels In Hartford, Connecticut
In Hartford, it’s technically illegal to “allow” your dog to chase animals. Which is hilarious, because unless your dog is a statue, good luck stopping the squirrel Olympics every walk. First, we don’t teach them to chase. It’s intrinsic. Second, how do you teach a dog to behave around fast-moving creatures?
