Talking to your sister-in-law should be easy; she’s family. However, some questions can make any innocent conversation awkward quickly. While you mean well, certain topics can be intrusive, critical, or uncomfortable.
The key is knowing which subjects might be sensitive. To help you navigate any situation that could lead to anger or embarrassment, here are 15 topics to avoid asking your sister-in-law about.
Romantic relationships or marital issues
One surefire way to make your sister-in-law uncomfortable is to ask about her marriage or relationship. Marital stress, plans, and disagreements are personal and not open to outside input.
Should she want advice or support, be open to giving it objectively. Keep the conversation light instead of making her feel she needs to explain anything.
Questioning her career decisions or job status
Bringing up her job can backfire if she’s experiencing stress, looking for a change, or uncertain about her future. A question like “Are you still doing that?” seems harmless but can quickly come off as judgmental.
Work isn’t a comfortable subject, even with family. If your sister-in-law wants to discuss it, let her approach you.
Inquiring about her personal finances or salary
Financial discussions are never comfortable, and bringing up her finances—even in a roundabout way—can make things tense. Even “casual” questions about budgeting tips or big purchases can tense the conversation.
She’ll do it on her terms if she wants advice or to share something. Instead of making finances a conversation, talk about things that make her feel at ease.
Her parenting choices or child-rearing methods
Parenting is extremely personal, and no one wants to feel that they are not doing the right thing for their child. Comments on discipline, school choices, or routines can create tension.
You should never make someone else feel judged, especially regarding their kids. Instead of offering opinions, keep things supportive. Ask about the fun stuff—family trips, new milestones, or favorite activities.
Inquiring about her health conditions or medical history
Her health and medical history are personal, and asking about it can come across as intrusive, even if you’re just trying to show concern.
Maybe she’s dealing with something privately, or maybe she just doesn’t feel like discussing it. Either way, no one wants to justify their health situation. Don’t ask about anything you’ve noticed unless she approaches you and confides in you.
Questioning her appearance or fashion choices
Complementing her is one thing, but asking about her clothing, hair, or weight can seem more critical. A casual “Are you trying a new style?” might make her second-guess herself. Fashion and personal choices are just that—personal.
Instead of commenting on what she’s wearing or how she looks, talk about something like a shared interest, a recent event, or something fun she’s been up to.
Asking about her relationship with your mother/Mother-In-Law
Family dynamics are tricky to navigate, and asking about her relationship with your mother (or mother-in-law) can make her uncomfortable. A simple “Do you two get along?” can put a lot of pressure on her.
She might not want to share frustrations or feel forced to say something polite. Instead of making her navigate a sensitive topic, talk about family memories, upcoming events, or traditions.
Inquiring about her financial investments or savings
Asking about savings, investments, or retirement plans can be intrusive, even if you’re conversing or trying to get a few tips. She may not want to discuss her financial situation, and no one likes feeling pressured to explain their choices.
Rather, ask about her family’s travel plans, her favorite books, or a new recipe she’s tried. There are plenty of other ways to connect.
Asking about her personal goals or future plans
Everyone is at different stages of life and wants different things. Some have no idea about plans beyond this week, never mind long-term goals. Asking about career moves, big decisions, or personal milestones might corner her.
She might be figuring things out. Life doesn’t follow a set timeline. Instead, talk about a great meal, a funny memory, or a new hobby.
Inquiring about her personal struggles or challenges
Struggles and challenges are personal and it doesn’t help when you feel like someone else can see that you’re struggling.
Nothing you go through should be anyone else’s business, and asking your sister-in-law about it could undermine her confidence in her ability to overcome it. If she doesn’t personally approach you about it, don’t ask.
Inquiring about her personal achievements or accolades
You dream big when you’re young. You imagine how you want your future, but this isn’t always possible.
Asking your sister-in-law about what she’s achieved or about her accolades could make her feel insignificant—without knowing the struggles she’s been through to get where she is right now. A better way to connect? Discuss your passions, interests, or things that make everyday life enjoyable.
Asking about her hobbies or leisure activities
If you’re just getting to know your sister-in-law, you often try to find similar interests and ways to connect more, but diving too deep can feel like an interrogation. No one ever wants to explain how they spend their free time, and they shouldn’t.
Don’t ever ask for specifics; let conversations flow naturally. Casually ask about her favorite books, travel, or fun weekend plans.
Questioning her social circle or friendships
Yes, she’s family through marriage, but this doesn’t give you the right to ask about her social circles or friendships—innocent as it sounds.
She has a life outside your connection, and you have no right to judge, ask, or make assumptions and suggestions about her circle. Instead of focusing on who she spends time with, keep conversations engaging and light.
Questioning her past relationships or ex-partners
It doesn’t matter how you became sisters-in-law. You have no right to question her past relationships or ex-partners. You might get to know each other enough for her to trust you with this information, but until then—it does not concern you.
Digging into someone’s past relationships can feel invasive and unnecessary. Instead of making her history a topic, keep conversations light.
Asking about her weight, diet, or exercise routine
Body positivity is a big deal; many women struggle with it daily. Never ask about her weight, diet, or exercise routine, even if you only want tips or suggestions. If she opens up to you about this, avoid giving your personal opinions or suggestions.
Instead, talk about series, movies, and fun things to do over weekends. Don’t ever make body image a conversation topic.
