One morning you look at yourself in the mirror and see wrinkles and gray hair and you realize you’re not getting any younger. The next time you visit family, your parents have a harder time moving around the house, or maybe you get a call saying that your dad fell down; eventually, we’ll all shed our mortal coil. But before it’s too late, reconnect with your parents by asking them meaningful questions about themselves or their lives. Here are 10 questions you should ask before it’s too late.
What is your proudest accomplishment?
Ever wonder what your dad’s or mom’s proudest accomplishment is? Now is a great time to ask. Let them describe their biggest victory. What made it so special or important? Showing interest in their life story will make them feel valued and loved. Maybe he or she has an intriguing story about how they won a marathon. You’ll never know if you don’t ask.
What do you want to be remembered for?
This question skirts a fine line between a safe question and an uncomfortable question. If you think that your mom or dad can handle it, ask them what they would like their legacy to be. What do they want to be remembered for? Death is always an uncomfortable conversation. Use your social intelligence to gauge whether it is the right time for such a question.
What is your biggest regret in life?
Our elders have learned valuable lessons throughout their lives. Allow them to impart their wisdom on you by describing their greatest regret in life. Maybe they wish they had spent more time with the kids instead of working all the time? Their experience can teach you a thing or two. However, this question can be tricky. Don’t focus on the negative for too long. No one likes to wallow in regret.
What was your happiest moment?
This question is lighter. Ask them about their happiest moment. What brought them the most joy? Maybe your parents’ wedding was the happiest day of their lives. Get to know your parents better by asking this personal question. Perhaps they don’t talk about it much. Learning about their happiest moment can help you reconnect with your parents and get to know them better.
Were you scared to become a parent?
Becoming a parent is likely one of the biggest life events in your parents’ lives. Did they have any reservations? Were they scared to become parents? What difficulties did they have to face? Get to know your parents on a deeper level and learn about them, as well as your siblings’ births. Don’t live in regret after your parents pass on. Get answers for those curious questions that roam freely around your head.
Who was your biggest influence?
Reconnecting with family means putting forth the effort to learn about each other, even when we think we already know them. This is a question to ask your parents: Who was your biggest idol? Or, who did you look up to growing up? Their answers could surprise you. Perhaps they looked up to a neighbor or someone else in the family; knowing who influenced your parents’ life trajectory will deepen your understanding of their lives.
What event had the greatest impact on your life?
To know someone is to know what made them. Ask your parents what event had the greatest impact on their lives. It could be when they moved away to college or when they started their first job. Some of these events had a profound impact on major life decisions. Perhaps their significant life change was becoming pregnant and raising children. If you don’t ask, you’ll always wonder.
What is your fondest memory?
Do you know your mother’s fondest memory? Reconnect with her and ask. She will appreciate your thoughtfulness and tell you something you might never have expected. Your parents raised you, so to understand them is to understand yourself. Ask about their fondest childhood memory. You might be surprised at how similar or different you are.
What is something I don’t know about you?
This one is more of a general question. Ask your parents to share something you don’t know about them. Your mom or dad might reveal a hidden talent, a challenging adventure they once had, or a dream they never pursued. Or maybe they wanted to be an astronaut and made it all the way through basic training, only to fail the written exam. Learn something new about the people who raised you and reach a deeper level of affection.
What was growing up like for you?
Perhaps your parents aren’t talkative or expressive. You haven’t heard them talk about their childhood. You wonder what it was like. Ask them what growing up was like. Did they have a happy childhood? Or was there a lot of unresolved tension in the household? The more you know about them, the more vividly their memory will remain.
