Have you ever walked into a room and wished you knew exactly what each person was feeling or thinking? Well, with a certain set of skills, you can make an educated guess. So much of how we communicate happens through body language. Use these tips from behavioral experts to read the person across from you with surprising accuracy just by observing their behaviors.
Crossing Their Limbs
People often consider crossed legs to be closed-off body language. However, be sure to use context clues to get the full picture. If someone is truly closed off to you, they will probably avoid eye contact and also cross their arms. Often, people may cross their arms or legs because they are cold or simply find it more comfortable.
Making Consistent Eye Contact
Eyes truly are the windows to the soul. When someone is willing to look you in the eyes, they put themselves in a vulnerable, intimate position. This indicates a feeling of warmth and trust between conversation partners. When someone isn’t willing to make eye contact, it may mean they’re uncomfortable or nervous.
And Avoiding Eye Contact
As discussed above, if someone is avoiding eye contact, it may suggest shyness or discomfort. However, cultural norms and neurodivergence may also affect a person’s ability or desire to make eye contact. It may hint at insincerity or unease, but not always. In fact, research suggests that when someone lies, they may make more eye contact than usual to appear trustworthy.
Tilted Head
Dogs tilt their heads when they are listening, and it turns out people do the same thing for a similar reason. The head tilt shows that someone is listening intently and really paying attention to what you’re saying, Goman explains. This is generally a good sign that they are interested and engaged.
High-Pitched Voice Tone
Pay close attention to the pitch and tone of a person’s voice. When someone’s voice rises in pitch, it can communicate that they’re feeling defensive, nervous, or vulnerable. If their voice drops in pitch, this may convey confidence and gravity. Additionally, if someone talks louder than normal, it signals that they might feel you aren’t hearing them, while speaking softly implies that they’re attempting to share something vulnerable.
Shrinking Body
When we’re uncomfortable, we tend to make our bodies as small as possible, slumping down with a bowed head. When the body shrinks in this manner, you can assume the person you’re observing is feeling weak, insecure, or unsafe. Rather than moving toward them to offer comfort, take this as a sign that they may need a bit of space.
Visible Hands
Always look for signs of openness when evaluating someone’s body language. When your conversation partner clearly displays their hands, it shows interest and a desire to earn your trust. It’s almost as if they’re saying, “I have nothing to hide, you’re safe with me.” Placing their hands where you can see them is a great sign that this person is signaling a desire to communicate openly.
Standing At Your Side Instead of Facing You
Body position can offer you hints about what may be going on in someone’s mind. Pay attention to whether a person is facing you in an open posture or if they’re turned away, avoiding eye contact. When someone is closed off by standing at your side instead of facing you, that may indicate that they are uncomfortable or uninterested in conversing at that moment.
Grooming Behavior
When we care about someone, we have an instinctive urge to reach out and touch them. It may seem small, but the act of picking lint off your shirt or tucking in your T-shirt tag displays that someone feels affectionate toward you. This behavior is a form of grooming that we reserve for those we let into our inner circle.
Breathing Faster
There is an array of subconscious, bodily changes we experience when in a heightened state of emotions. Before we even cognitively register it, our bodies rush to put us in a protective state in case we need to run. One telltale sign that someone is nervous or fearful is a racing heart rate coupled with increased breathing. Look out for gulping air or noticeably faster breathing to determine if someone’s heart is racing.
Covering Mouth
Self-soothing is a common practice when someone feels vulnerable. This can present as someone wringing their hands, rubbing their arms, or playing with their hair. Covering the mouth is another self-soothing action that also hints at someone feeling self-conscious or distressed. Smiling openly, on the other hand, signals warmth and openness.
Noticeable Sweating
When beads of sweat form along the forehead, palms, or upper lip, it may signal nervousness, stress, or discomfort. You’ll likely notice fidgeting or other avoidance behaviors if someone is in distress or nervous. This subconscious response can help you tune into a person’s inner emotional state.
Fidgeting
Fidgeting isn’t just an annoying distraction—it’s a sign of potential distress or lack of focus. Tapping, leg bouncing, and pen clicking can indicate that a person is feeling jumpy or nervous. It can also be a symptom of ADHD. Either way, if you notice this behavior, you may need to offer a break so they can settle down or recenter.
Licking Their Lips
If the person you’re talking to licks their lips, it may mean they’re attracted to you. However, be sure to consider the context. This could also indicate nervousness or hesitation. If you’re looking for more hints, observe whether their body language is open or closed. If they cross their arms and face away from you, their body language is closed. But if they’re facing you in a relaxed posture, this can indicate a positive response.
Touching Your Shoulder
Sometimes it can be tricky to read certain types of body language. For instance, a touch on the shoulder can mean something different depending on the person and the circumstances. It can range from romantic intent to an attempt to comfort you. Regardless, it displays confidence and a bid for connection.
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