Being in a one-sided friendship can be hard because it hurts when you feel your friend doesn’t care about you the way you care for them. You might not be fighting, but slowly you might notice you don’t talk, meet up, or even text. Or if you do, maybe you’re seeing that you’re the only one putting in any effort. If this sounds like what you’re dealing with, check out our list of signs you could be in a one-sided friendship.
You Plan Everything
Planning everything (or worse, paying for everything) is a sign that the other person isn’t as invested. Granted, it could be that they’re not the type who thinks about this well or isn’t good at it, but if they’re your friend, they’d be willing to try. Planning something doesn’t have to be elaborate. It can be as simple as hanging out at home and drinking coffee. Next time, try telling them that you’d like them to plan something, making you feel more appreciated.
Major Events
Check your phone or social media. Have all of the birthday or anniversary wishes on your end, and it’s never reciprocated? Do you bring them gifts or want to spend time with them, but when it’s your birthday, it’s always silence? That’s another indicator that they don’t care like you do. When talking to your friend, let them know gently that it makes you sad that you never do anything together for your big day, or tell them you’re planning something and would like them to go.
Personal Life
Another issue that can occur is when you listen to their personal life and work, but they never talk about yours. If you’re listening to everything they say, but they don’t care enough to ask a single question about what’s going on in your life, it might be time to reevaluate the friendship.
Communication
Sometimes, people get busy. It’s understandable and a part of life. But think about it for a second. For the past year or more, have you constantly been texting first, following up, and when you stop trying, you don’t hear from them at all? It hurts and is a hard lesson, but it could mean this person doesn’t care about you the same way. If this is the case, try calling less and see if they try calling you.
They Need You
Well, at least for a moment. If you’re a people pleaser or just a genuinely lovely person, you probably have a desire to help those around you. However, when people only call you or talk to you when they need something, it can hurt because you feel like they don’t care about you, but only what you can do for them. Sadly, in many cases, no matter how much you do, it’s never enough.
You Can’t Be Honest
When you can’t be honest with your friend or tell them they’ve done something that hurt you, that’s not healthy. You should always be able to express yourself freely. We get it, confrontation is awful, but if they’re truly your friend, you should be able to talk to them and tell them if you’re upset. Next time, try gently approaching the subject and expressing that you feel like you can’t talk to them sometimes. Suppose if they begin to gaslight you, it’s a red flag.
You’re Drained
Some people seem to suck the life out of you, and you can be drained and even depressed after you visit them. If this is the situation you find yourself in, you may need to consider the friendship. It’s not selfish to put your mental health first. It’s also not selfish to understand when something isn’t good for you. Some people aren’t meant to be in our lives forever, and that’s okay.
Bailing
When your friend constantly cancels on you or doesn’t seem to have time to answer texts about meeting up, you’ll start to feel bad. It can be incredibly annoying to have to spend your time trying to follow up with them and then finally get one text back. Honestly, it’s not just time-consuming; it’s frustrating and can lead to you getting angry with the person.
Never There For You
When you’re in an emergency situation, you should be able to depend on your friends to help you. If you’re in a one-sided friendship, chances are you’ve helped them and been there when they need you, but have they done the same? If not, they don’t make you a priority or show the same level of care that you do.
Ghosting
Some people like to ghost others and then pop back up in their lives like nothing ever happened. In some cases, they pop back up because they need you and think you’ll magically forget that they ghosted you. This isn’t fair and is also insulting. The saddest part of this is that they could gaslight you, pretending that they haven’t done anything.
Reevaluating Your Friendship
When it comes to relationships, honesty and communication are a good thing. If someone is always letting you down, you have to think whether you want to be a part of this anymore when it’s detrimental to you. It’s not about spending every second with you, it’s about the quality of time you spend together. It’s about the other person putting in a little effort for you, too.
