It’s normal to find authentic love connections online. But there are certain avenues that leave you vulnerable to bad actors and scammers. If you meet a person through a dating app or social media platform that claims to be a part of the military, be sure to verify their identity and look out for suspicious behavior. Keep yourself safe by familiarizing yourself with these military romance scam red flags.
Know the Facts
Military romance scams are a rising form of fraud where criminals pose as service members to exploit people emotionally and financially. It’s important to be aware of this type of fraud and know how these scammers may present themselves. They often seek those looking for love, using fake military profiles to build trust quickly. Understanding these red flags can help you protect yourself and others from becoming victims.
Look Out for Love Bombing
Oftentimes scammers will use love bombing—a practice used to overwhelm someone with affection, flattery, and promises. This is a classic tactic to gain trust quickly. They may claim to feel a deep connection within days or weeks. But this is an emotional manipulation tool used to create a false sense of intimacy, making their victims more vulnerable to scams.
Relationship Escalating Quickly
Another common red flag to look out for is how fast the relationship moves. Scammers may profess love or discuss marriage within a short period. This rush to establish a deeper relationship is designed to emotionally entrap an unsuspecting person. They want to get close to the victim before they start to recognize inconsistencies in their stories. Real relationships typically develop at a more measured pace.
Can’t Video Chat for “Security Reasons”
Does the person you are chatting with always have an excuse for why they can’t video chat? Scammers often claim they can’t video chat due to military restrictions or missions. While some communication limitations do exist for deployed troops, video calls are often possible. A refusal to appear on camera is a major red flag.
They Only Use a Personal Email
Legitimate service members typically have official military email addresses ending in .mil. Scammers frequently use generic email platforms like Gmail or Yahoo, citing security or convenience reasons. On its own, this might not seem that unusual, but when paired with other peculiar communication behaviors, it can be an indication of a scammer.
They Tend to Chat on WhatsApp or Text
Scammers typically prefer platforms such as WhatsApp or texting where their identities are harder to verify. These apps allow them to maintain an element of anonymity and avoid detection. Ask if they are willing to chat somewhere else. If someone insists on communicating only through these channels, it may be a sign of a scam.
They Never Answer the Phone
If you’re consistently getting a string of excuses for why your potential partner can’t pick up the phone, such as poor reception or busy missions, they might be a scammer. Their hesitation to talk verbally helps maintain their false identity. Real relationships require open and consistent communication. It’s not much to ask to hear their voice.
They Are Stationed Far From You
Claiming to be deployed overseas is a common tactic used by scammers. They often use this excuse to avoid meeting in person or to justify needing financial assistance. Always try to meet or video chat with a romantic spark you meet online. Be wary of anyone whose location makes it impossible to meet or verify their story firsthand.
They Claim to be Deployed 2+ Years
Long deployments are used to explain prolonged absences and delays in face-to-face interactions. But there is a limit to how long these deployments realistically last. While deployment lengths vary, most last between six months to a year. Anything beyond that is suspicious. A supposed multiple-year deployment, especially without scheduled leave, should raise a red flag.
No Established Social Media Presence
Real military members usually have at least some social media presence. Even if it’s limited, it’s normal to find some sort of digital footprint. A complete lack of any evidence online of this person being who they say they are is a red flag. It’s also a red flag if the profile is freshly created with limited connections. Be cautious of anyone who can’t be found or verified online.
Claim They Can’t Access Their Bank Account
Scammers are usually after one thing: your money. If the person you’re chatting with online says they can’t access their bank account due to deployment restrictions, it’s often the prelude to asking for money. The US military does not block soldiers from accessing their finances. Such a claim is a strong indication of a scam.
Need Money to Get Back in U.S.
Requests for money to return to the United States is a classic scam technique. Real military travel is covered by the government. If someone claims that they are in dire need of funds to come home, it’s almost certainly fraud. Never ever send money to someone you haven’t met in person.
They Ask You to Hold a Valuable Package
If a scammer isn’t after your money, they may be after your identity. If someone you’re chatting with online asks you to receive a “valuable package,” often claiming it’s filled with cash or military gear, they might be scamming you. This is a tactic to trick people into becoming a part of a fraud scheme. You may unknowingly assist in illegal activities.
Ask for Pay for Children or Medical Procedure
Again, asking for money in any capacity has scam written all over it. Bad actors frequently create urgent, emotional appeals involving children or health crises to get your money. They might claim a child is sick or that they need money for a medical procedure. These are fabricated emergencies designed to exploit your empathy.
They Send You Photo of “Official” Military ID
Sending a photo of a military ID is not proof of legitimacy. These images are often stolen from real service members or fabricated. A real service member would rarely share such a document casually. Treat this red flag with suspicion, especially if the person uses it to reinforce a request for money or emotional trust.
