Job loss can throw your life into disarray without warning. But it doesn’t have to cause a rift between you and your spouse. If you work together to chart a path forward intentionally, you can come out of this difficult season stronger than ever. Keep these 15 strategies in mind to stay united with your spouse through job loss.
Remove the Stigma
According to the INTOO, a staggering 40% of Americans have experienced job loss at one point in their life. You are not alone in this hardship. Remember that losing your job doesn’t have to define you as a person or your future potential. If you pride yourself on bringing in money for your family, you can still lean on all the time you did. You or your partner are not any less valuable due to this job loss.
Remember You’re a Team
You and your spouse are a team. When one of you loses their job, planning the path forward is the first call to action. Be prepared to support each other as you find a new normal. Instead of turning on one another, find ways to lean in as you adjust to the unknown ahead.
Come Up With a Game Plan
Every job loss situation will vary from couple to couple. Take a realistic look at your affairs. Does the spouse who lost their job need to take on a lower paying job to help you stay afloat or is there a savings buffer so they can spend more time searching for the right fit? How will you handle upcoming bills? Discuss all aspects of how you’ll have to shift your lifestyle.
Decouple Gender and Labor Stereotypes
There can be an added societal layer of shame associated with job loss for men. If you or your male spouse is the one who lost their job, be sure to reinforce continued value outside of paid labor. There are plenty of ways to contribute to the household outside of work during the job hunt. Work together to decouple gender roles from the equation to create a supportive environment.
Be Your Partner’s Cheerleader
If your spouse lost their job, they may have a smaller threshold for positivity at the moment. Help pull them out of negative thought cycles and be the one to remind them of all the opportunities they have ahead. Relationships aren’t always 50/50. At this point it may need to be 30/70. Cheer them on as they find the path forward.
Inform the Children in a Healthy Way
If you have children of a certain age, they will likely pick up on mom or dad being home more than normal. It’s important to inform them as a united front in a healthy, calm manner. Be sure to present it as a change but nothing to be scared about. Assure them that you and your spouse will work it out.
Create a New Budget
Take a good look at your finances while you or your spouse search for a new job. Account for your upcoming bills, current savings, and income. Make adjustments in how much is allocated to unnecessary expenditures such as dining out or subscriptions. See how long you can manage realistically under the current circumstances.
Make Adjustments
Life can turn on its head in the midst of job loss. Your budget, schedule, and lifestyle will likely need to change to an extent. Discuss these changes ahead of time with your spouse. What are some ways you can work together to transition through these adjustments easily with your family?
Apply for Assistance
From unemployment to energy assistance, there are plenty of assistance options you can apply for after job loss. Don’t be afraid to lean on these relief options as you get back on your feet. Be sure to get in touch with your state’s human resources office to get a larger scope on assistance offerings.
Offer Support in Job Seeking Process
If you are supporting a spouse through their job loss, offer help with the job seeking process. Maybe you can help them search for worthwhile job listings. You may also be able to help sharpen their resume and cover letters. Don’t make the job hunt an isolating experience. Offer your support to help them through the process.
Keep an Open Line of Communication
Communication is key throughout your relationship. It’s even more vital in difficult times. When a spouse loses their job, make sure you have clear, open communication through the entire process. Keep talking about how to move forward together and be sure to check in often. There is nothing that should be off the table.
Don’t Play the Blame Game
As frustrating as this season can be, you can’t turn on your spouse. There are sure to be some bumps in the road along the way as you adjust to this new normal. But be sure to talk through issues rather than disparaging one another. You need to remain united.
Center Your Relationship
At the end of the day, your relationship should always come before anything else. Regardless of what happens with your financial situation, you still have each other. Even if you have to start from rock bottom, center your partnership and you will remain united through it all. Smoother days are sure to be ahead for you.
Encourage Mental Health
Job loss can take a heavy toll on the individual going through it. As the support partner, be sure to encourage mental health practices such as mindfulness or maintaining a consistent schedule. Consider embarking on better mental health habits together. Individual and couples therapy can be a great option if you can afford it.
Set Boundaries
Boundaries are essential to a strong, long-lasting partnership. When moving through a difficult season, boundaries can be even more important. Establish how much of yourself you can give and where you might need to hold boundaries in this time. Discuss this ahead of time so each spouse knows what to expect.
