If you don’t have anxiety, it can be difficult to understand those who do. You make assumptions and might end up with a perspective that isn’t true. There’s a good chance you know someone who suffers from this, and they could use some understanding. With that being the case, check out our list of things about anxiety that people who don’t have it should know.
You Can’t Turn It Off
One thing that tends to happen if someone has a mental condition like depression, anxiety, or PTSD, for example, is that people think they can turn it off or choose not to be anxious. That’s not true. Anxiety is a complex condition that can’t be shut off even when you take medication. In most cases, people saying this makes the person feel worse about being anxious in the first place. No one would suffer if it were that easy to turn it off.
Stop Making Comments
With that in mind, you don’t need to comment on someone’s mental health. If you saw someone with scars or a physical disability, you know better than to comment. You don’t need to comment on anxiety, either. In most cases, when you make comments, it increases the person’s panic attacks or anxiety. It’s good you want to help, but the person needs to get through it independently. They can often do so if they don’t feel people watching or judging them.
Don’t Tell Them They’re Making You Anxious
If true, you can respectfully communicate your needs or let them know you must leave the room to calm yourself down. Telling them that they’re making you anxious invalidates their emotions and can cause them to feel like a problem. It also places their focus on the wrong thing instead of helping them calm down.
Don’t Tell Them It’s In Their Head
Firstly, everything can be considered to be in our heads. For instance, jealousy, envy, and greed are all in your head. However, that doesn’t give you the right to say that to someone else. You know it’s not going to help, and it’s just going to make them feel worse. Seeing someone get upset due to hyperventilation can be frustrating, but saying something like that could make it far worse.
It’s Not All The Same
Mental issues look different from person to person. Some people have anxiety so bad they can’t leave the house. Others who have it are so good at masking it that no one can tell they have it. For instance, a mother and daughter both had anxiety, but the daughter’s came from something different. Anxiety appears in a profusion of ways, and it’s different for everyone.
There’s A Difference In Feeling It And Having It
Everyone has felt anxiety at some point, but having an anxiety disorder is a different experience. It involves repeated episodes of intense anxiety that can significantly impact a person’s life. When you tell someone with an anxiety disorder that you’ve felt anxious too, you may unintentionally invalidate their experience. It’s important to recognize that the disorder is more than just feeling anxious, and your well-meaning comment could be perceived as diminishing their struggle.
Anxiety Can’t Always Be Seen
We’ve all heard of invisible disabilities, and anxiety is one of them. Someone with anxiety doesn’t always have visible panic attacks. You can’t always tell someone is struggling. Many people who suffer from anxiety have trained themselves to be “normal” so that no one knows. Don’t assume someone isn’t struggling just because you can’t see it.
Massive Guilt Can Be Common
Anxiety can cause guilt. That makes it harder to deal with because most people don’t have something that they attribute their anxiety to. Many people have to remind themselves that anxiety can be expected, and it’s hard to accept that this could be a part of their lives. Others feel they don’t deserve to feel this way, and the shame becomes more of an issue.
It Can Come Out Of Nowhere
Another anxiety issue is understanding where it comes from. As stated above, a lot of people don’t know. Anxiety can come out of nowhere, and there isn’t always a cause. Most people don’t know what causes it; they know they can’t turn it off. That makes questions about the origins hard to deal with because they may not understand themselves. Patience is key in these situations.
Don’t Ignore Someone Who Asks For Help
Anxiety will always be different for each person, and if someone looks fine or if someone is struggling profusely, either situation shouldn’t be ignored. It’s incredibly difficult for someone with anxiety to ask for help, so don’t ignore the plea. It can be hurtful and make the situation worse. If you can’t help, tell them you can’t now, but you’ll try as soon as possible. It’s something that may help them calm down.
It’s Not Your Fault
In most cases, it’s not your fault. If it is, the only thing you will do by mentioning this is cause them to feel more guilt. If you genuinely think you’ve done something to upset them, let the conversation wait until they’ve calmed down. Everyone needs to feel safe, and having a conversation when everyone can be calm is the best way to do this. Ask if there is anything you can do to help if you feel you need to do something in the moment, but be aware that it may cause more anxiety. Just remember, the anxiety is not about you. Don’t take it personally.
It’s Not A Trend
Anxiety isn’t a trend. Our society is more accepting of mental health, so people feel more comfortable talking about it. That doesn’t, however, make it a trend. If you say something like this to someone with anxiety, you’re trivializing their experience and causing them more shame. Educate yourself and realize that anxiety is everywhere.
Frustration Doesn’t Help
Getting frustrated at someone for anxiety or mental health doesn’t help. We can wish the situation would be different, but it’s not worth getting upset, and being rude to the person doesn’t help the situation. Taking someone’s anxiety personally and yelling at them is only going to make this situation worse instead of better.
Many People Don’t Get Help
Most people won’t admit they need help or can’t afford it because they don’t have healthcare. That means that people are suffering with no help and only silence. Anxiety is also increasing, and more people are suffering. Instead of people judging, we should be trying to help.
People Are More Than Their Struggle
Anxiety can affect lives for a long time, but people can get better with help. It may never go away, and you should never self-medicate, but people should know that it can get easier. Even if someone isn’t getting help, they are so much more than their anxiety. It doesn’t define who they are. Each person is unique and special, no matter what they struggle with.
Be Kind
Now that you’ve seen 15 things people wished you knew and how heartbreaking this is, it’s easier to sympathize. Everyone deserves kindness, and it can help so much when someone is struggling. No one wants to suffer from this; I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s debilitating and can cause physical sickness, too. It may be difficult not to say something, but sometimes that can be the most considerable help if you can’t say something kind.
