Partnership isn’t always easy. It takes constant effort and a willingness to maintain the relationship through countless seasons of life. Boundaries are a wonderful tool to help you and your significant other build a framework for your relationship. While it can feel uncomfortable setting a firm boundary at first, a loving partner should be willing to respect your wishes. If you need a place to start, explore these 15 must-have boundaries for a healthy, happy relationship.
Open Communication
Setting a standard of safe, open communication is an excellent place to start if you’re working on boundaries. An ability to speak candidly is a hallmark of every healthy relationship. You should feel safe speaking your mind to your partner. It’s also vital that communication is a two-way street. Work to be a receptive person for your partner to talk to as well.
Respecting Privacy
When we choose a life partner, most everything merges into one. However, certain areas should remain private. If you or your partner feels the need to snoop through each other’s things, you may have larger issues of trust to work through. Privacy is a non-negotiable boundary essential for forming a sustainable bond.
Transparency
Honesty, while uncomfortable at times, is a kindness. Your partner deserves your absolute transparency, even when the truth may be difficult. If your significant other asks your opinion, be honest. When something goes wrong or you mess up, don’t sugarcoat it–tell the truth. Being radically transparent is a muscle you will grow as you continue to practice it.
Personal Property and Autonomy
It may seem harsh to set boundaries around your personal property with a live-in partner, but your autonomy is still important when you are in a relationship. It’s not out of bounds to ask before they borrow something that belongs to you. You are still both individuals who may have certain preferences about whether and when a partner can use your items.
Parenting on the Same Page
If you have children, well-defined boundaries can be even more important. You have to position yourself as a unit. Decisions around the children should be collaborative. You should also discuss boundaries around disciplinary expectations before any issues arise. Being caught off guard not only may cause issues between you and your partner, but also could make your child feel off kilter too.
Digital Boundaries
Our screens seem like a near-constant presence in our lives. While sitting in bed scrolling or watching TV together can be fun occasionally, it’s not an intentional way to bond. Digital boundaries are important to maintain a strong connection. You can enlist a “no phones after 8 pm” policy or perhaps have a “screen-free” date night once a week.
Individual and Shared Responsibilities
Partnership is about more than just carefree fun. While it’s important to maintain a sense of play in your relationship, it’s important to balance that with responsibilities. Everyone has a part to play. Set boundaries around who is responsible for what around the house and in your shared life. And be sure to stress the importance of individual responsibilities and carve out time for that as well.
Ground Rules for Arguments
The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago as the best time to set a boundary around arguing was five minutes before a fight starts. There’s no use in trying to establish a boundary in the heat of the moment. As unpleasant as it can be to discuss arguing while you’re in a good place, it’s important to map out what is and isn’t acceptable when fighting. For instance, it’s absolutely fair to end a dialogue if name-calling gets thrown into the mix.
Communication Expectations
A healthy relationship thrives on clear communication boundaries. Set realistic expectations around response times, preferred communication methods, or communication while apart. This is a great way to get ahead of misunderstandings or resentment. Open communication is vital to foster trust and intimacy in a relationship.
Family and Friendship Boundaries
Romantic partnership is just one important part of our larger network of loved ones. Finding harmony with friendship, family, and our partner is possible with clear boundaries. Your partner needs to respect the time you spend with your other loved ones. However, outside influence can harm your relationship at times. Be mindful of what you share with family and friends about your relationship and have a realistic understanding of how much their opinion matters in your relationship.
Alone Time
Even the most outgoing among us need time to recharge every once in a while. Spending time alone is vital for personal growth and a healthy relationship. Whether you or your partner wants time for hobbies, self-care, or simply recharging, it’s vital to respect and prioritize this time.
Financial Boundaries
Finances are tough even for a single person to handle. Mixing in another person’s financial load and habits can feel impossible. Luckily, you can avoid a lot of arguments and misunderstandings by discussing financial boundaries. Decide who will pay for what ahead of time. Discuss money goals and expectations. Prepare to merge finances where necessary and hold firm to boundaries around individual money and assets.
Emotional Well-Being
Healthy relationships center emotional well-being. While it’s not your job to be your partner’s therapist, you should be a willing participant in fostering their emotional well-being. What do they need when they’re feeling down? If they need time together, lean in but if they need time apart, respect their wishes.
Intimacy Boundaries
Intimacy is a beautiful binging thread woven through a strong, happy relationship. Every couple has their own definition for what it means to be fulfilled intimately. Listen to your partner’s needs and find ways to make them feel wanted while also respecting your own boundaries around and desires around intimacy.
Work-Life Balance
Work is a huge part of our lives. We often spend more time at work than at home during the week. If both you and your partner work full-time, it can be challenging to balance it all. When merging lives, talk about your work lives and see where you can find gaps for each other. Honor those times together and hold firm to keeping a boundary between work and home life.
