Dating can feel like a gamble in this modern era. From online dating to the ever-shifting societal expectations of relationships, there’s a lot to contend with. Of all the challenges modern dating offers, picking the right partner still proves to be the most difficult. Learn to identify these 15 red flags while you vet your potential significant other.
You Feel Good Around Them
Your intuition will usually be a good indicator of whether a person is good for you or not. If you feel at ease with someone—truly good and at home with them—you’re on the right track. Pay attention when you don’t feel comfortable around someone. Butterflies are normal but don’t brush off an instinctive feeling of something being “off”.
They Have a Growth Mindset
The goal isn’t just to find a partner and live happily ever after. We should strive to constantly grow. You should have individual and shared goals to work towards with your partner. It’s a huge green flag if your potential partner is actively chasing their dreams and dedicated to maintaining a growth mindset.
Actions Match Words
Talk is cheap—judge a person based on their actions. If your date says they’ll meet you at a certain time and is consistently late, take note of that. Pay close attention to what they promise versus their follow-through. Their actions will tell you a lot about their character and ability to show up for you as a partner.
Going Above and Beyond Without Hesitation
Someone worth your time will be happy to take on more to see you smile. Without even asking, this person will show you that they care frequently. Whether it’s offering to take you to the airport or surprising you with flowers, there is no shortage of signs that they care for you.
You Feel Emotionally Safe With Them
It’s a huge green flag if you’re able to comfortably display your emotions to a potential partner. Having a receptive, loving person to fall back on when you’re going through a hard time can be such a relief. You should be able to reach for the phone and feel supported by the person you’re dating.
They Have Good Things to Say About Loved Ones
The way a person speaks about the people who are and have been in their life says a lot about their ability to form meaningful relationships. Pay attention to how they talk about their family and friends. It’s usually a great sign if they have a lot of good things to say about them.
Respectful of Boundaries
Boundaries are an absolute must in any healthy relationship. Alone time, work obligations, and standards of communication are just a few important areas to address. When you express a boundary, pay attention to how your potential partner responds to it. Someone worth allowing into your life will respectfully honor your boundaries.
Consistent Communication
You shouldn’t be left guessing when you’ll hear from your date again. It’s a green flag when you know that you can count on hearing from your potential partner consistently. This means even communicating when they might not be able to get back to you right away. Someone that’s worth starting a long-term relationship with will have no problem offering you this.
Values Independence
Everyone needs to maintain a healthy relationship with themselves in order to have the healthiest, most successful relationship with someone else. You may assume your potential partner having plans outside of you means they don’t want to see you but in reality this is a sign that they value healthy independence.
They Hear You Out When You Have a Concern
It can feel vulnerable voicing a concern to your partner. You want to have your needs met while also not hurting their feelings. When you finally muster up the courage to speak up, it’s important that you’re heard with compassion and a shared goal to reconcile. If your partner makes it easy to talk about concerns, you might have a keeper.
Long-term Friendships
Community is vital to our health and well-being. It’s a huge green flag to see your potential partner surrounded by a supportive group of friends. This displays an ability to sustain long-term relationships as well as a sense of importance around community and being a good friend.
They Celebrate Your Wins
Your partner should be your number one cheerleader. It’s so important to feel celebrated in your relationship. When you win, they win and vice versa. Pay attention to how your potential partner reacts when you accomplish something. Are they excited for you or is their response indifferent or even negative?
Kindness and Empathy
How does your potential partner treat the server at restaurants? Do they show grace when someone accidentally bumps into them? Kindness and empathy are essential building blocks in any relationship. How they interact with the world reflects how they may act towards you. If they extend this courtesy to others, this is a huge green flag.
A Sense of Responsibility
The balance of life calls on us to juggle work, friends, love, and personal growth. It’s a lot to handle sometimes. You should be sure to pick a partner who tackles these areas with grace and a deep sense of responsibility. Even if they falter from time to time, a strong sense of responsibility is a great quality.
You Can Laugh Together
Laughter and fun are essential pieces of any relationship that shouldn’t be overlooked. Life is tough but your partnership should be a shelter from the chaos where you can unwind and enjoy the beauty of life together. Find a person you can always laugh with and you’ll be on track for a wonderful relationship.
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