A cruise can be a dream vacation—unless you accidentally turn it into a disaster. I’ve been on eight ships, and trust me, I’ve seen it all. From rookie mistakes that cost passengers serious cash to little-known rules that could get you kicked off the boat, here’s what NOT to do if you want smooth sailing.
Don’t Wait to Book Shore Excursions
Think you can just waltz off the ship and book the best activities on the spot? Big mistake. The must-do excursions—like glacier trekking in Alaska or swimming with stingrays in the Caribbean—sell out fast.
Book your must-haves at least 60 to 90 days ahead. If you’re booking independently, leave a fat buffer for getting back. The ship won’t wait. And no, begging at the dock doesn’t work.
Avoid Booking Flights on Embarkation Day
Rolling the dice on a same-day flight? Hope you like stress. Flight delays happen, luggage gets lost, and traffic can turn your dream vacation into a missed departure nightmare.
Get to your departure city at least a day early so you’re not running through the airport Home Alone-style. And on your way home, book an afternoon flight. Disembarkation can be a long process, and customs lines can move painfully slowly.
Don’t Pack Only for Poolside Activities
Sure, the pool deck is calling, but cruise ships have WAY more going on. Think ice-skating, zip-lining, Broadway-level shows, and fancy dinners with actual dress codes. Pack some variety so you’re not that person wearing flip-flops in a fine dining restaurant.
Indoor areas can feel arctic, thanks to overzealous AC, so bring a light sweater. And trust me—wet swimsuit chafing is NOT something you want to experience all day.
Avoid Overpacking
Cabins are tiny. Unless you booked the Titanic grand suite (minus the iceberg), you’re working with limited space. Rolling your clothes instead of folding them saves room, and packing cubes is a game-changer.
Also, leave some space for souvenirs—because, let’s be real, you will come back with a tacky magnet, a random T-shirt, and possibly a bottle of questionable local liquor from one of the ports. No shame, we all do it.
Don’t Neglect Travel Insurance
Skipping travel insurance is like playing financial Russian roulette. If you get sick, miss your flight, or—worst case—need a medical evacuation, it’s coming out of your wallet. And let me tell you, getting airlifted from a ship costs about as much as a brand-new car.
A decent policy covers medical, cancellations, and delays. Even a mild case of food poisoning can rack up a bill you don’t want to see.
Don’t Bring Prohibited Items Onboard
Your steamer, surge protector, and favorite bottle of tequila? Yeah, those probably aren’t making it past security. Every cruise line has a banned items list, and if you try sneaking something through, it’ll end up in the “confiscated and never seen again” pile.
If you’re unsure, check the cruise FAQ before packing. Also, don’t even think about trying to sneak booze in mouthwash bottles. They know. They always know.
Never Skip the Muster Drill
I get it; sitting through a safety briefing sounds like the least fun way to start a vacation. But skipping it is like refusing to watch the airplane safety video—except this time, there’s an actual chance you’ll need to know where the lifeboats are. Pay attention.
If you skip it, crew members WILL find you and make you sit through a makeup session. And if you refuse? Enjoy getting kicked off the ship.
Don’t Assume You’re Immune to Seasickness
Think you’ve got an iron stomach? Cool. But the ocean doesn’t care. Even seasoned cruisers can get hit with nausea when the waves start rocking.
Mid-ship cabins on lower decks feel the least motion, but if you’re prone to getting queasy, pack motion sickness bands or Dramamine. And if you feel it coming? Skip the greasy buffet and get some fresh air. No one wants to be the reason for a deck cleanup.
Avoid Overindulging in Rich or Spicy Foods
Unlimited food sounds great until you realize your stomach isn’t built for non-stop shrimp cocktails, triple-decker burgers, and mystery buffet sushi. Throw in some choppy waters, and suddenly, that 24-hour pizza bar doesn’t seem like a great idea.
Balance is key—mix in some lighter meals and stay hydrated. And if you think cruise ship bathrooms are spacious and comfortable… well, you’re in for an unpleasant surprise.
Don’t Forget to Monitor Your Onboard Account
Swiping your cruise card is so easy it’s dangerous. Between overpriced cocktails, Wi-Fi, and specialty dining, those charges pile up FAST. Check your balance in the cruise line app daily so you don’t get hit with a bill that looks like you accidentally funded a small yacht.
Oh, and those “free” drinks in the casino? They come with a price. Losing $50 at the slots to get a $12 margarita is NOT a great deal.
Avoid Hogging Deck Chairs
Chair hogging is a full-contact sport on cruise ships, and some people treat it like the Olympics. Dropping a towel and disappearing for five hours? Not cool. Cruise staff are cracking down—if you’re gone too long, your stuff might just vanish.
Want a prime sunbathing spot? Wake up early or find the lesser-known decks where the chair situation is less of a battlefield. And for the love of all things vacation, don’t fight over a chair.
Avoid Skipping Hand Hygiene
Cruise ships are basically floating petri dishes. Between buffet tongs, elevator buttons, and casino chips, germs are having a field day. Most ships have hand sanitizer stations everywhere for a reason—USE THEM.
And if someone’s hacking up a lung near you? It might be time for some strategic social distancing. No one wants to spend their vacation battling norovirus in their cabin bathroom. That’s not the kind of all-inclusive experience you want.
Don’t Ignore Ship Announcements
Ship announcements aren’t just background noise—they tell you about itinerary changes, weather updates, and safety info.
Miss an important one, and you could end up at the wrong dining room, missing an excursion, or wondering why everyone else seems to know something you don’t. If you really don’t want to listen, at least check the daily planner or cruise app so you’re not completely out of the loop.
Avoid Disregarding Local Customs at Ports
Rolling into port acting like an entitled tourist is a fast way to make locals hate you. In some places, dressing too casually is disrespectful, and haggling aggressively won’t win you any points.
A little research goes a long way—know the tipping norms, basic greetings, and what NOT to do so you don’t embarrass yourself. Oh, and if a sign says “No Photos,” don’t act like you didn’t see it.
Don’t Forget to Relax and Enjoy
It’s easy to get caught up in the FOMO of booking every excursion, hitting every event, and running around like a theme park speed runner. But guess what? Cruises are supposed to be relaxing.
Take a day to do absolutely nothing—chill on the balcony, grab a drink, and actually enjoy the fact that you’re literally floating in the middle of the ocean with nowhere to be. That’s the real luxury.
