When you’re in a relationship, you probably have an idea of what you’re looking for and what you want. You need to select the right relationship, though, because if you’re in a fantasy relationship, it can do more harm than good. In this type of relationship, one person projects their desires onto their partner without considering the other person’s feelings. The sense of fulfillment is temporary and doesn’t build a genuine connection. It confuses real love with a fantasy.
Avoiding Conflict
No one likes fighting, and that’s normal. In a fantasy relationship, you don’t want to fight at all because that may indicate that you don’t have the “perfect” relationship. However, that isn’t sustainable and results in unresolved problems that build resentment, hurt feelings, and lead to a loss of love, ultimately causing the relationship to fail.
You’re Not Yourself
When we’re in a relationship, you should be free to be your true self. When you’re not comfortable or feel safe expressing your thoughts and feelings, that’s a problem. You should never feel obligated to act in a particular way to please your partner. They should love you for who you are.
No Identity
You should always know who you are and what you believe. In a fantasy relationship, it’s easy to lose that, or you may feel that you need to discover who you are because you feel like you have no identity of your own. It could also stem from the feeling that your partner’s needs always take precedence over yours, and that your feelings don’t matter.
Red Flags
In a fantasy relationship, you might ignore characteristics or behaviors that would be a red flag in a real relationship. For instance, in a real relationship, if your partner constantly ignored you, was never around, or had poor communication, you would likely consider the need for better communication and trying to fix the relationship, or at worst, end it. In a fantasy relationship, you brush these things aside.
You Love The Idea
When you love the idea of love, or the concept of dating, more than actually doing it, you’re in a fantasy relationship. It could also indicate that your relationship is more shallow than you think, with no real connection because you’re not fully invested. A genuine relationship needs you to want to be there.
Your Happiness
Can you be happy on your own, or do you rely on others to make you happy? In a fantasy relationship, you may become overly dependent on your partner for your happiness. If you feel that you’re relying on your partner to make you happy, this creates an issue because your partner may fall short of your expectations, and it puts a lot of pressure on you.
Treading Carefully
When you feel like you’re walking on eggshells constantly, and you’re afraid of what to say, what to do, or what not to do, that’s not healthy. The reason you’re feeling this way may be because you’re under pressure to be perfect. However, you need to remember that perfection doesn’t exist. You’ll never achieve it, and trying to can be harmful to yourself.
Difficult Conversations
In a relationship, you’ve got to talk about the things you don’t want to. In a fantasy relationship, you make sweet eyes at each other and never talk about family, finances, friends, or anything else that matters. This creates problems that remain unresolved, leaving the relationship vulnerable to failure and resentment.
Your Future
Everyone tends to have at least some idea of how they want their future to look. Some want marriage and children, others want a career, or both. In a fantasy relationship, you might be thinking that you’re going to have a long, happy life with no issues. That’s dangerous thinking. It creates irrational and unrealistic expectations that can lead to hurt feelings if they’re not met.
Idealization
When you put your partner on a pedestal, you’re not seeing them for who they truly are. You create an image in your head, and then think they’ll live up to it. If they can’t, that pedestal comes crashing down and you’re hurt because your image is shattered. But the thing is, that’s not your partner’s fault. You’ve created this false image of who they are, and no one can live up to the idea of perfection.
A Genuine Relationship
There are numerous ways to maintain a healthy relationship, and it begins with having realistic expectations. Now that you know what to look for, you can understand how dangerous it is to be in a fantasy relationship instead of a real one. Take care to try to see your partner for who they are, so you don’t end up disappointed.
